Dear Oprah,
I know your "favorite things" list includes cars and trips to Australia, (yawn), but us simpler folk are just as content with presents a little less grandiose.
Like....
VENUS EMBRACE!My skepticism of the razor that requires $11.00 replacement blades vaporized after my first set of blades (five mind you) made skin contact. And if by blades they mean 1000 count Egyptian cotton ribbons that sweet-talked my fur coat into falling out then....they are right on point.
Not sold yet? Even Khloe Kardashian, goddess that she is, endorses the Embrace
If that doesn't convince you...I don't know
next thing on my wish list...
Season Fricken Four
You'd think watching this cheesy orgy roll around in their martini-soaked Chanel underwear would get old. But it doesn't. They're all hot enough to drown out the miserable background music (courtesy of HOT 99.5) and Chuck Bass could still get. it.
He doesn't even have to ask nicely.
In fact, I hope he doesn't ask at all. BADDUM
Oh hey basket of happy...
this one explains itself...
as I continue to terrorize the male species (until someone smart enough to medically sedate me into monogamy comes along) I would suggest you try this little gift on my doorstep if you have done something that resulted in your dismissal...it will buy you an extra three days...anymore of this flowers nonsense and you will find potpourri on your windshield.
Happy basket also good for Christmas!
Moving on...
um SYKE...were you not even paying attention???
If that were to happen than this...
would be why...but on that subject
the next item would be like finding a puppy in your stocking
Feminine, yet haunting as all vodka should be adorned. Did Chelsea Handler dress you?
But if I'm going to be ordering such things I would also like Jesus and Santa to get in cahoots for my next request:
just a full body replacement Jesanta...that's all I'm asking
Last, but certainly not least
I want my wit to be on your wit.
that about sums it up...all those and...
that melt into spring,
these are a few of my favorite things!