Poop

When asked what my next post should be about, I was told "poop" because my sister is a foul human being.  A dear friend of mine also shares the same addiction to the topic so, here it is.

Not.  I'm not writing about your fecal obsessions, nasties.

Today, I shall discuss new man candy; I name him Derp.  Derp is great for a variety of reasons but a top selling point is he puts up with the fact that I am disgusting.  All girls are in their own right, and a unique way to see if a man is worth keeping around is being up front about it.  Yeah, I'm not going to get the first impression rose, but there will be no surprises in the future -- all I can go is up!  Since an odd array of men will put up with enough antics, the bar has been raised to behavior typically not acceptable after kindergarten.  This helps weed out the lazies, mama's boys, sensitives, awkwards, etc...need not apply.  If you can handle a 'lady' when she has makeup down her face and is covered in nachos, you deserve that lady.  Apologies to Derp for being jaded into this skewed dimension sans-romance but, oh well,  unless it's a 14-year-old first dating experience, I think the jig is up.  Real men like 'em a little crazy anyway.